Sadness

Just over a year ago I met my neighbor Cindie. She is married to the detective and has a 21 year old son. They are a great family and we love to have them near. When I first met her, she was holding her "baby" Fancy. Fancy was a tiny, and I mean really really tiny, dog. We used to joke about eagles swooping down to have her for a snack. When our grass needed to be mowed, it was hard to see her hopping around. When she would walk down the road with Tony and Cindie, sometimes she would be wearing a hunter orange vest for better visibility. She didn't really like kids, but she loved to be chased by Gavin in our yard. The 2 of them had so much fun together.

Tonight I had just gotten off the phone with Cindie and we were coordinating our neighborhood's weekly trip to Taco Tuesday. She said she had to let Fancy out to potty, then she'd be over. She came and knocked on the door and the next thing I knew Cole was going to help find her in the dark (Tony was at a required meeting 2 hours away). Then Cole called me and said he needed me to call Tony because they had found Fancy on her side in the grass, unresponsive. Cindie gave her mouth to nose and could not revive her. Cole called back and asked me to come help since it was just the 2 of them and he was in over his head. I swooped Justin up and went to comfort Cindie in her grief. She was understandably distraught. Thankfully Gavin was with another neighbor's husband, and stayed there while that neighbor's wife came over too. We sat with Cindie while she held Fancy until her son came home.

That was terrible. Cindie has lost someone very special to her and it was very hard to not be able to anything to help, other than just be there. I was holding my usual distance until later when Gavin was talking about how sorry he was that Fancy died. He really wanted to go to Cindie and tell her how sorry he was, and that maybe she could get another Fancy. He was so sweet and got me choked up. It is so hard to loose a pet, and even harder to try and explain that to your child.

That is the 3rd completely unexpected death near my life in the last month. I am so very thankful that none of them were immediately parts of my family, but I am also so sad for the other families. A few weeks ago I was told that a friend from high school had suddenly lost his life. Last week one of my co-worker's grand-daughter went to bed acting normal and never woke up (she was 2). I know that Fancy was "just a dog" but she was loved as a family member in her house.

I have been having a hard time in the last few days learning to be content with my life and where we are. I am oh so grateful that we are anywhere at all, and that we have God with us, no matter where we are.