By Your Side

One of my friends from high school posted this video of a song on her facebook page that I currently like. It's called "By Your Side" by Tenth Aveenue North. Whenever I hear the song I stop what I'm doing, close my eyes (no, not when I'm driving), and picture myself with God. In the chorus it says "I'll be by your side... In the dead of night whenever you call". I think of literally the middle of the night when I'm at work and how God is there with me. It also says "Please don't fight these hands that are holding you. My hands are holding you." I picture myself in the embrace of 2 big strong arms struggling against them, and then I surrender to the love and am forever protected. I really enjoy the words of the song and find that it speaks to me, right where I am.

Madness

For those of you that read my blog from time to time, you know that I like to give you background info to help round out the story. For those that are new, hang with me...

First, a quick rundown of our neighborhood. There are 7 houses, and 6 are occupied. We've become really close as a neighborhood. Part of it is that we have similar professions. I'm a nurse. We have a neighbor who is a police officer with a drug dog, one who is a detective, one who is in immigration, and one who works for the department of corrections. In the 6th house lives a convicted felon/drug dealer. Hmmmm, interesting combo. The drug dealer is named Sean and he doesn't cause too much trouble overall. He knows he is being watched. He doesn't do the dealing himself technically. The word is that he drives, and his girlfriend does the rest. A minor technicality. Overall, it is his friends and acquaintances that we worry about, not really him. The lady who works for the dept of corrections just happens to work in the same office as Sean's parole officer. Funny.

I worked last night. I left at 7:30pm as usual and noted that there was a sheriff driving by our road slowly with his spotlight. When I got home this morning at 8am, there was an unmarked police car sitting in the driveway across from our street, like he was clocking people. He was still there when I left to take Gavin to preschool at 9. I waved like any innocent person should :-) He was gone at 12:15 when we got home. I got the kids to bed by 1:15 and headed for a nap myself at 1:45. I had to get up and encourage Gavin to get in to bed so he would fall asleep and I would get more than 2 hours of sleep (I had been up for 30 after all). He is allowed to come out when there is a "3 in the front" on his clock, but I try really hard to get him to sleep on the days following my night shifts. At 2:05 I heard something loud and obnoxious through the window. I realized what it was and tore downstairs to look. Sure enough, it was what looked like the SWAT team at Sean's house. Great. There goes my sleep. They kept calling towards Sean's house to have anyone come out. Everyone did, but they were very cautious still. They apparently didn't believe that the 4 people on their knees with their hands on their heads were the only ones in the house. They headed in to the house with their (huge) rifles drawn and big shield in front of them. Oh geeze, this can't be good.

By this time my mom had come over from sleeping in her trailer (she had also worked last night) and Gavin had come downstairs. Before coming downstairs he stopped at the top and said that there were police with guns outside. Nice. He was worried that Sean was hurt. I explained that no one was hurt and that they were there to make sure everyone was safe. Seriously, how do you explain the SWAT team in your neighborhood to your sweet innocent 3 1/2 year old. I am still enforcing with him that police are there to help us, not catch us when we do wrong. Thankfully Gavin really likes our police officer neighbor and his drug dog Hunter. In fact, we routinely watch Hunter when his owner is out of town, so I think Gavin has a good positive exposure to police officers.

That reminds me of something. One of the girls who came out of the house was holding a baby. This whole police invasion was very exciting, but there are very sad points too.

Overall there was a bunch of hullabaloo and no one was arrested. They did their thing and searched the house top to bottom. They even got a ladder from the top of the police truck to (I'm assuming) search the attic. I wish they had found something to get Sean, but they were looking for his brother and he must have gotten away. It seems that the house was clean, but I'm sure this won't be the last time.

We live in a great neighborhood. We are all professionals. We respect others. We take care of our yards. We work hard to provide good lives for the ones we love. We watch out for each other. I guess things can't always be perfect. It is Granite Falls after all.

(About the pictures, they are in reverse order and I'm too tired to fix it now. The one with the black and white police car in it was an officer posted in our neighbor's driveway. That car was not involved. It lives there-not at Sean's)

Sadness

Just over a year ago I met my neighbor Cindie. She is married to the detective and has a 21 year old son. They are a great family and we love to have them near. When I first met her, she was holding her "baby" Fancy. Fancy was a tiny, and I mean really really tiny, dog. We used to joke about eagles swooping down to have her for a snack. When our grass needed to be mowed, it was hard to see her hopping around. When she would walk down the road with Tony and Cindie, sometimes she would be wearing a hunter orange vest for better visibility. She didn't really like kids, but she loved to be chased by Gavin in our yard. The 2 of them had so much fun together.

Tonight I had just gotten off the phone with Cindie and we were coordinating our neighborhood's weekly trip to Taco Tuesday. She said she had to let Fancy out to potty, then she'd be over. She came and knocked on the door and the next thing I knew Cole was going to help find her in the dark (Tony was at a required meeting 2 hours away). Then Cole called me and said he needed me to call Tony because they had found Fancy on her side in the grass, unresponsive. Cindie gave her mouth to nose and could not revive her. Cole called back and asked me to come help since it was just the 2 of them and he was in over his head. I swooped Justin up and went to comfort Cindie in her grief. She was understandably distraught. Thankfully Gavin was with another neighbor's husband, and stayed there while that neighbor's wife came over too. We sat with Cindie while she held Fancy until her son came home.

That was terrible. Cindie has lost someone very special to her and it was very hard to not be able to anything to help, other than just be there. I was holding my usual distance until later when Gavin was talking about how sorry he was that Fancy died. He really wanted to go to Cindie and tell her how sorry he was, and that maybe she could get another Fancy. He was so sweet and got me choked up. It is so hard to loose a pet, and even harder to try and explain that to your child.

That is the 3rd completely unexpected death near my life in the last month. I am so very thankful that none of them were immediately parts of my family, but I am also so sad for the other families. A few weeks ago I was told that a friend from high school had suddenly lost his life. Last week one of my co-worker's grand-daughter went to bed acting normal and never woke up (she was 2). I know that Fancy was "just a dog" but she was loved as a family member in her house.

I have been having a hard time in the last few days learning to be content with my life and where we are. I am oh so grateful that we are anywhere at all, and that we have God with us, no matter where we are.

I'm like a motorcycle

It's a strange title I know, but bear with me...

I have been awake for 26 hours. As you all know, this is not unusual and happens on a regular basis. What I am bragging about right now is that I have been home for 1 hour and 10 min and this is what I've done so far:
Did my nighttime routine with Gavin (since I can't do it on the nights I work, he likes it when I get home)
Got Justin up and dressed
Started their eggs and toast
Got the pot roast in the crock pot (including flouring, browning and prepping the veggies)
Fed the kids their breakfast and cleaned each one of them up
Emptied the dishwasher
Did all of the morning dishes including the pot roast stuff (I even put it all away)
Put Gavin in Time out once
Checked my work e-mail and my calendar
Posted to Facebook and here
And finally, I'm enjoying my second cup of coffee (standing of course)

Soooo, to the reason I'm like a motorcycle! If I keep moving, I'll stay upright. If I stop, I'll drop like a stone. As hard as it is, and as crazy as it sounds, right at this very moment, I like my life? Maybe I'm just delirious. Well, I'm starting to sway from standing here at the counter, so until next time... Vroom!

So smart

Well, maybe it's not smarts, but routine. Just now Sesame street ended and Gavin turned off the TV as usual. Then Justin dropped what he had been doing and took off for the stairs. I followed him up and he went straight in to the bathroom. That's exactly where we always go after Sesame Street to brush Gavin's teeth before his nap. That was cool :-) Now they are both in their rooms. Justin is sleeping and Gavin is playing. I have 1 hour and 51 min until Gavin sees the 3 in front on his clock (3pm) and comes back out. :-)

Cleaning?

A couple of days ago Gavin spent 15 minutes cleaning his work bench with baby wipes. He was very thorough and even took parts of it off to get them nice and clean. He was doing this while standing on a layer of toys that had taken over his play room. I asked him if he would continue his efforts and clean the play room and he seemed astounded that I would even ask. Apparently he only cleans on his terms.

Yesterday when he came out after his "nap" he said that he had a surprise for me. We went upstairs and he showed me how "beautiful" his room looked. He had spent his "naptime" "cleaning" it all up. He had shoved everything against the wall under the window. He has a shelf in the closet for the books and a box for the toys, but apparently they don't work. He had also put his laundry basket on the bed to clear off the floor. At least he can appreciate a clean looking floor space. He's getting a real toy box for Christmas instead of an ugly tote.

So Profound

I know it's been a while, and I really don't have time right now to share much, but here it goes. Just now, Gavin shared something that I know we should all remember...

"If you poke your finger in your eye it hurts."