Signs that he's growing

Gavin has had a tooth that has been hurting him for a while. I looked at it and touched it and realized that it was loose. I didn't tell him to see if he would figure it out on his own. This was a month or more ago. Since then he has stopped eating bagels, apples and carrots. He doesn't complain or question his tooth. It just is. So yesterday I looked at it again and mentioned that maybe it was getting loose. Gavin's face lit up so bright! He got really excited that the tooth fairy would be coming soon. Since then he will spontaneously break in to a dance and laughing because his tooth is loose. He can't wiggle it with his tongue because, "My tongue is too slimy" but can move it with his fingers. He doesn't like to move it though because it is sore. I remember when I was bummed that he was getting teeth because I loved his toothless baby smile. Now he's loosing those very teeth. I swear that was last week!

I'm so impressed with the person that he's turning in to. Such a wonderful son to have. Recently we tried a new church. I was almost sick with all the butterflies about how the kids were going to do in the nursery. Gavin didn't want to go and Justin had no idea what we were doing. After signing them up and talking to Gavin, we walked him to his area. I mouthed to the workers that they may have to hold him while he cried (he's 5 and that would not be easy), but he walked in to the area on his own. He was not happy about it, but he didn't cry! I was so impressed that I almost lost it and started crying myself. When I handed Justin over he had caught on and was saying, "Mama come too. Mama come too." He cried, but we expected that. Apparently he cried for a bit and was then very cautious. He perked up and was happy after a cookie :-) They both did well and had positive things to say. Gavin didn't want to go back unless he gets to play on the slide the whole time, but too bad buddy, we went again and all went well (with a little crying from Justin). Gavin said that he wants to ride the church bus next week. They have shuttles from remote lots and we'll give them a try.

My boys are so awesome! They are very different and I love it. They have taught me the value of silence and that patience is always the right choice. They are growing so fast!

I hope he gets it eventually

One of the things that my mom used to tell us was that there is no trying. You either do it or you don't. It drove me crazy when she told us this. She would demonstrate by asking us to make a fist. Either we did or we didn't. There was no in-between. I still don't totally believe in that and I think there are circumstances where something is a "try" and not a failure. I think she would agree, but sometimes you need to be black and white with kids. Even though I don't totally agree, it causes me to think and I certainly learned from her teachings.

Lately, I've been talking with Gavin about how there are times when he chooses how he feels. Or, actually, he chooses what to do with the feelings he has. When I ask him to pick up the toys and he misses part of Sesame Street because he was dilly dallying, he says that I made him angry. Well, he may be angry because of the consequence of his dilly dallying, but in his eyes it's because I asked him to pick up. In that moment, it's ok to feel the anger, but he can decide how to act. That just makes him madder. I have the feeling that this will be one of those things that he remembers as an adult. Just like I remember the trying thing with my mom.

My struggle is to model the behavior that I am preaching! I don't always demonstrate the best choice when it comes to my frustration. When I let it take over, I do take time to talk to Gavin later about how I could have acted differently and that it's normal to feel the emotion, but we need to continually work to display it in a way that won't hurt others. I hope that when he looks back and remembers the things that I told him that drove him crazy, he'll also realize that he learned something from them. He doesn't have to completely agree with what I'm trying to teach, but at least he'll have something to ponder.