Signs that he's growing

Gavin has had a tooth that has been hurting him for a while. I looked at it and touched it and realized that it was loose. I didn't tell him to see if he would figure it out on his own. This was a month or more ago. Since then he has stopped eating bagels, apples and carrots. He doesn't complain or question his tooth. It just is. So yesterday I looked at it again and mentioned that maybe it was getting loose. Gavin's face lit up so bright! He got really excited that the tooth fairy would be coming soon. Since then he will spontaneously break in to a dance and laughing because his tooth is loose. He can't wiggle it with his tongue because, "My tongue is too slimy" but can move it with his fingers. He doesn't like to move it though because it is sore. I remember when I was bummed that he was getting teeth because I loved his toothless baby smile. Now he's loosing those very teeth. I swear that was last week!

I'm so impressed with the person that he's turning in to. Such a wonderful son to have. Recently we tried a new church. I was almost sick with all the butterflies about how the kids were going to do in the nursery. Gavin didn't want to go and Justin had no idea what we were doing. After signing them up and talking to Gavin, we walked him to his area. I mouthed to the workers that they may have to hold him while he cried (he's 5 and that would not be easy), but he walked in to the area on his own. He was not happy about it, but he didn't cry! I was so impressed that I almost lost it and started crying myself. When I handed Justin over he had caught on and was saying, "Mama come too. Mama come too." He cried, but we expected that. Apparently he cried for a bit and was then very cautious. He perked up and was happy after a cookie :-) They both did well and had positive things to say. Gavin didn't want to go back unless he gets to play on the slide the whole time, but too bad buddy, we went again and all went well (with a little crying from Justin). Gavin said that he wants to ride the church bus next week. They have shuttles from remote lots and we'll give them a try.

My boys are so awesome! They are very different and I love it. They have taught me the value of silence and that patience is always the right choice. They are growing so fast!

I hope he gets it eventually

One of the things that my mom used to tell us was that there is no trying. You either do it or you don't. It drove me crazy when she told us this. She would demonstrate by asking us to make a fist. Either we did or we didn't. There was no in-between. I still don't totally believe in that and I think there are circumstances where something is a "try" and not a failure. I think she would agree, but sometimes you need to be black and white with kids. Even though I don't totally agree, it causes me to think and I certainly learned from her teachings.

Lately, I've been talking with Gavin about how there are times when he chooses how he feels. Or, actually, he chooses what to do with the feelings he has. When I ask him to pick up the toys and he misses part of Sesame Street because he was dilly dallying, he says that I made him angry. Well, he may be angry because of the consequence of his dilly dallying, but in his eyes it's because I asked him to pick up. In that moment, it's ok to feel the anger, but he can decide how to act. That just makes him madder. I have the feeling that this will be one of those things that he remembers as an adult. Just like I remember the trying thing with my mom.

My struggle is to model the behavior that I am preaching! I don't always demonstrate the best choice when it comes to my frustration. When I let it take over, I do take time to talk to Gavin later about how I could have acted differently and that it's normal to feel the emotion, but we need to continually work to display it in a way that won't hurt others. I hope that when he looks back and remembers the things that I told him that drove him crazy, he'll also realize that he learned something from them. He doesn't have to completely agree with what I'm trying to teach, but at least he'll have something to ponder.

The first hour I was awake

Keep in mind that preschool drop off is between 9 and 9:10, and we generally leave the house at around 8:30 or 8:40 to hit that window...

We had a fun, but very long weekend over Thanksgiving. It included 2 work evenings and 2 big dinners with an overnight at my mom's in there too. We had fun, but were beat. I worked last night and went to bed at around 11pm. Cole left this morning at 6. I had high hopes of getting up then to have a little time before the kids got up at 7, but I quickly fell back to sleep. That is typical for me and Gavin is usually out of bed between 7 and 7:30 and will wake me up.

I opened my eyes to a clock that read 8:29! Gavin was still sleeping and I couldn't hear much from Justin's room either. I thought about skipping preschool since it was time to leave and I was still in bed, but I made the decision to see if we could make it. I put my contacts in and woke up Gavin. He was not sick (like I thought he might since he slept so long) and he was pretty resistant to getting up and dressed so fast. I gently told him that if he didn't get dressed right now, we would not make it to school. I ran in and got dressed myself and he actually finished before me. We went in to get Justin and while I was dressing him, Gavin got his show and tell item and loaded his backpack. I put some waffles in the toaster and went outside to put the car seats in the car. The kids got all buckled in and I still had to wait a minute or so on the waffles! I smeared a little peanut butter on them and we left for school. I got up at 8:29 and drove out of the driveway with dressed and eating kids at 8:46! I couldn't have done it without my amazing Gavin. I did forget his jacket though, so I hope he does ok when they go outside today.

We dropped him off and ran to Fred Meyer. I had remembered my list, but not my coupons. Oh well. We picked up a few things and were going to go back home. Justin had asked for a doughnut, but I forgot about it. I was putting the last bag in the car when he started to dance in the seat of the car cart, getting all excited about his doughnut. I felt really bad that I had forgotten it when I heard him start to scream and cry. I looked over and the cart was rolling backward in to the parking lot. He was so terrified! Of course I ran and caught it, but we were both scared for sure.

We left Fred Meyer 1 hour after I got out of bed. What a crazy morning! Now, I'm enjoying a little coffee and a quick sit down before I pack up an item to ship to an ebay buyer and head back out to pick up Gavin. I am also taking a moment to thank God for his work in our morning. The potential was there for several disasters and He took care of us. He never ceases to amaze me :-)

no NO NOOOOOO!

I lost Justin's Fuzzy Blankie! He has 2 blankets. One from Target (that I have a duplicate of) and one from someone at my mom's work. The second one is pretty small and crocheted from this pastel, very fuzzy yarn. When he wants Blankie, he wants both of them. We put the small fuzzy one on his little pillow in bed. We were shopping in Fred Meyer today and he had both of them tucked in next to him in the cart. We got all through the checkstand and out to the car before I realized that Fuzzy Blankie was missing. I remember when he was letting it drop and I gave it back twice. Typically, if he's playing that game, I'll put it in my bag until he's ready to hold it, instead of dropping it. I don't remember seeing Blankie after he dropped it twice. We walked all through the store and weren't able to find it. I left my information with Customer Service and we're hoping that someone turns it in.

When I put him down for his nap, I found another blanket that was much bigger, but was also fuzzy. He was ok with it, but I know he would prefer his friend back.

On the drive in to town this morning, I was thinking about Fuzzy Blankie and wondering what would happen if it became unraveled or otherwise broken. I thought that I could probably crochet one for him if that ever happened. I've never thought about it before and it sure is funny that I thought about it just an hour before Blankie went missing. God sure makes me laugh sometimes! Ha ha.

So, when Cole gets home, I'm headed back out to buy some yarn and will be digging out my "How to Crochet" book this evening. Not exactly how I planned to spend the evening, but that's ok. Anything for my boys huh? Thank goodness I don't have to work today.

After Fred Meyer, we still needed to go to Safeway, but didn't have enough time. My trip this evening will then include Safeway too. I'm actually excited to do a little grocery shopping by myself. :-)

Justin's check up

I know you've all been waiting, so here it is. A review of our day at Children's yesterday...

I had a couple of ultrasounds at the end of my pregnancy with Justin and they revealed some abnormalities with his kidneys. By the time he was 2 months old, he had undergone a couple of tests and was diagnosed with Vesicoureteral Reflux. Yesterday, we went for some check up tests... http://kidney.niddk.nih.gov/Kudiseases/pubs/vesicoureteralreflux/

Justin and I drove down to Children's and got there an hour before his first appointment. We got all checked in and hung out in the Radiology waiting room. He played and I worried. My only worry for the day (and for the many days leading up to yesterday) was how he was going to respond to one of his exams. He went for his Ultrasound and did fine. He wouldn't look at me at first, but after a couple of minutes he was talking about the cartoon that was on the TV. Then we went for the VCUG. He had one at 2 months old, but I knew that at that time, he would not be able to associate me with the discomfort of the test. This time I knew would be different.

When we got in to the x-ray room, I got him naked and put a little hospital gown on him (so cute by the way!). I sat him on the table and put him on his back. He was cooperative, but apprehensive. They moved the x-ray camera to situate it over his abdomen, but it was so big that it pretty much hovered over his neck down to his upper legs. It came down to about 6-8" above him. That's what freaked him out. It was moving on it's own, and coming straight down n him. It didn't touch him, but he was shaking with fear :-( I was holding on to his arms (which he never fought-even once) and had my face touching his face the whole time. I never lifted my head from his. I talked to him and offered to hold my hand over his eyes. He was so sweet and really seemed comforted by my very close proximity. He liked having Blankie over his face too. They put the catheter in and he didn't seem to really notice. He flinched, but didn't cry. Near the end of the test we had to wait for him to urinate (the catheter was out). I asked him to do it and he was able to go, many times. His bladder was quite full and I'm sure it was a relief to get that stuff out. They were doing the continuous x-ray the whole time. I think that I was hugging his head and almost smothering him for at least 20 min. My shoulders and back are sore, but it was worth it to be such a support for him. So, my fear of him associating me with the pain and fear of the test was turned in to gratitude that I could be his strength. I hope that in his subconscious he sees me as his comfort during a very scary time.

As for the test results, they were neutral to me. His left kidney was at a grade 3 last time, and now has no signs of reflux! Reflux is graded 1-5, with 5 being the most severe. That kidney is growing well and is probably doing most of the work. The right kidney is at a grade 4-5 and was a 5 last time. It has barely grown at all and the doctor thinks that it really doesn't do much work at all.

During the past 2 years Justin was supposed to be on daily antibiotics to prevent any urinary tract infections. He was on them for a while, but I ended up stopping them without talking to the doctor. I would never advise going against the doctor's instruction, by the way! When I told him that I had stopped, I was surprised at his response. He said that there is a "small minority" of doctors that are trying the no antibiotic approach! That made me feel a little less like a non-compliant parent. Justin has never had a urinary tract infection or any unexplained fevers and has been completely normal. He is heading in to a period where he will be potty training soon though. Typically, when kids potty train, they are at higher risk of infection because they tend to hold their urine too long. The doctor and I both agreed that starting Justin back on the antibiotics at this time would be a good idea. So, he's back on them and that's all we need to do for now.

As long as Justin doesn't have any problems, we'll go back in a year. If all is well, he'll probably just get another ultrasound to check on the growth of the kidneys. The doctor said that he would not need another VCUG unless he was having issues and we were prepared to act on the results. That means, if he was having UTIs or other issues, he would probably need surgery. For now, he takes his meds and we live our lives. Not bad!

He has complained a couple of times about pain when he is peeing, but otherwise Justin has not had any ill effects from yesterday. When I got home and finally sat down to relax, it hit me how stressed I had actually been. I was not interested in thinking about anything and barely made it through the evening. I was in bed by 8:30 or so and really didn't sleep well. It was just the stress from thinking about my poor baby going through a medical procedure. The stress of it wore me out! It's over now though and we can move on to the rest of life's stresses :-)

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers!

Anatomy lesson from Gavin

Gavin just explained to me how potty and poopy come out....

When you drink something, it floats in your belly and then in your penis for a while, then it "pops" out. When you eat something, you chew it, it floats in your belly like potty, then it goes to your back and then to your, bottom and comes out. Then he pondered how funny it would be if your bottom was in the front and your penis in the back. He said that poopy comes through your back because that's where your bottom is, in the back.

A day at the beach

It was about 8:15 this morning and Gavin was eating his waffles, I was getting some coffee ready and Justin was talking in his crib. It was late for us, but that's fine. I have a long week of work ahead of me, so I was just planning on going to the store this morning for more coffee (I had just ran out) and that was about it. My mom called and said that Scott was putting his mom in to a nursing home today. That's a good thing because she really needs the help so I was happy. It was going to take a couple of days and that left my mom in Indianola while he was dealing with his mom, and my mom had hoped to come back here today. I offered to come over and pick her up. To go there involves about 40 min of driving to get to the ferry, waiting to get on, riding the ferry for 30 min, then another 10-15 min drive to my mom's house in Indianola. She was really excited and I managed to get us all together and packed for the trip over (including a trip to the beach while we were there) and we were out of the house by 9:15.

After an uneventful drive, and a 30 min wait at the dock for the next ferry, we got on the boat and went upstairs to hang out for the float over the water. Gavin looked through his binoculars and saw jelly fish, ducks and "pseed boats". It was fun for all 3 of us.

After we got to my mom's we hung out for a few minutes, and headed up to the Inidanola Store for lunch. It is the only store in town, and I worked there for 5 1/2 years way back when. We said "hi" to the owner and enjoyed some yummy sandwiches. Then back to mom's to get ready for the beach. We got all ready and drove to a little trail just down the road. I had forgotten Gavin's sandals so he was going to go bare foot. Well, as he put it, "It looks like we're in the forest" which we certainly were. It is a really beautiful trail, but somewhat overgrown (that's an understatement). He did most of it on foot and was poked by sticks, but did amazingly well. It was so grown over that I was ducking. My mom and I were both carrying towels and beach toys, and responsible for a kid a piece. Finally, near the end (after I helped everyone over a narrow log over some water) we ditched the stuff, each held a kid up over the stickers, and finally made it out to the beach. I went back for the stuff myself. It was so hard to navigate the trail that I decided to walk down the beach to the "boat launch" where we'd be able to walk up a driveway to the road and back to the truck that way. The walk down the beach probably took 30 min, and if you know the beaches around here, the sand was scarce. It was mostly rocks, but Gavin was amazing. He kept saying how it was poky, but he kept pressing on. He could see where we were going and kept saying "we're almost there" to us. We'd pick our paths carefully through the rocks and sand and eventually we got there. We put our blanket down and played in the sand for a while. We tried to go in the water but the tide was too high, and the rocks near the water were all covered in barnacles. No different that when I grew up, but I was used to it as a kid.

I left them there and walked the 10 min back to the truck to drive it to them and pick them up. We ended up having a great time, but next time we'll drive to a different part of the beach, and remember the shoes. I also plan to look at the tide maps and try to hit it at low tide so the boys can play on the sand flats.

When we were back at the house, the 4 of us sat out on the deck and enjoyed a cinnamon roll and a bunch of water. I asked Gavin to go get his shoes and socks on in preparations for going home, and the first thing he brought me was my ace wrap (I injured my ankle 1 week ago and the walk on the beach did not aide in the healing). He is so wonderful and intuitive! Then he got his shoes and socks on and my mom and I were both doubled over laughing. He still had his swim shorts and a swim shirt on, then put his brown camo socks on with his "Cars" shoes. His socks were pulled up as high as they would go and it was hilarious. Of course he had no idea what we were laughing at, but even now I am laughing about it. He is so awesome I can barely stand it!

Justin also was amazing today. He had a lot of trouble figuring out how to walk on the beach, but kept trying and eventually could walk almost as fast as normal. He loved playing in the sand and was not bothered at all by the cold water. Not much bothers him, except for Gavin trying to take something that Justin is playing with. He slept for a while in the truck and was as beautiful as ever. He is so adventuresome and fun to play with. I love my boys so much that my heart feels like it's going to burst. What a fun day.

(pictures to follow. I've tried 3 times and the upload isn't working)