This is insane

I just got up off my knees and I'm hoping for a miracle. I worked last night like normal and had a normal morning after. I got the kids off for their naps and was able to get to bed soon after that. For some reason Gavin was insistent on not sleeping. After an hour he came in and needed to poo, so I had to get up and wipe his bottom. Then Justin woke up and that was the end of any hopes for sleep for me. So, Justin has slept 1.5 hours today, and Gavin is coming out of his room every 5 min. Cole got home and had to immediately ready the yard just in case we get dirt delivered today. I was feeding Justin when Gavin came down again and said "everyone is waking me up." He had been laughing and jumping in his room, so there was no "waking" that could be happening. I was so out of patience that I was almost shaking and almost yelling at him to get back in his room. I was almost swearing and I could feel that I was very close to loosing control. It's amazing what a lack of sleep can do to someone. He went to bed and is now sleeping, but I'm up and have to continue on. I have a couple of other things brewing that are bothering me too that seem so much bigger and more difficult today. I know that they won't seem so bad tomorrow, but I am so tired of this. I set Justin down in his highchair and was walking towards the living room for something when I decided to just drop to my knees right there. I cried out to God to fix this somehow and tried to release it to Him. I think the solution is to not have a job, but that would take a miracle (I do believe in them). I know I'll feel better tomorrow, I'm just grumpy right now.

This blog is usually for sharing fun stuff about us and our lives, but as a journal, you get to read the ugly too. It is a bit therapeutic to share and to know that there are others out there sharing my pain. Thank you for your friendship and prayers.